Ask any drinker and he’ll admit it yes, once in a while, we all feel like buying everybody arround a drink, more so if it’s during the month –end and one has been foolish enough to pass through the grocery with the whole pay in the pocket. Its during this part of the month that even the born –economists like wa Muyanza can be seen pouring rounds in a manner suggesting they too are earners of real salaries, while the fact is, they’re mere wage earniergs.
Nothing wrong playing big and generous, once in a while a least for it comes with dividends. For instance, it makes you feel you’re also a man of significanse, Yeah, it feels good to buy, since you’re never quite happy with your self during all those accasions you’re forced to dash to the toilet even when your bladder is not full, when ever it’s time for sometime at the table to pour a round.
When you pour a round like other real men, you suddenly become a most intelligent person at your table. Tablemates who’ve been turning to each other to start a topic of their own whenever you lifted your mouth to say something, now become very attentive to whatever crap you utter.If you come up with some joke everybody roars into laughter, even before you’ve delivered the punch line-tha’ts the power of a major round you feel so good now that you’ve to marshal a lot of effort to stop youself from throwing yet another round at your table of six, the sting, err, sorry ---------- the frugal kande eater that you are!
Pouring beers to all and sundry whenever you can is also some sort of an insurance plan. How? Well, it so happens you’re the type who is only guaranteed of something akin-to real cash just 12 times a year (yeah, there are only twelve month –ends,sadly).
Now, on these rare days that you’ve the money, you consider it wise to invest’ in fellows who, hope –fully ill in future feel indebted and buy you one or two whenever they bump into you at the pub as you take leave after one miserable bottle.
Well, to be fair to yourself, you at times give away a drink for the sake of giving.
For instance, you’ve a soft spot for men and women of the performing arts-you hesr they are called celebs –and these are the fellows you willingly give a drink without the prayer or expectation that they’ll one day reciprocate. In any case, you don’t believe in miracles.
Well, it could be you’ve a guilty subconsious, since like over ninety percent of other Wabongo, you enjoy the works of artistes mostly for free and, once in a while, for a pittance.
It’s for this love for artistes that, when this other musician “friend of yours, comes to your table to say hi, you tell him to have a drink on you.
“I appreciate thank you so much you’re my number one friend and fan in Bongo, wallah! He says, Your music is great man!you tell him. Well it’s true the band he works for plays good music, mostly copyright stuff from the days of Salim Abdallah and Fundi Konde and you love it.
Thanks, papa” he says as he vanishes into his corner of the grocery” A few minutes later, jane (the barmaid) walks up to you and says: Mzee there’s that musician at the corner who says you have given himan offer, is it okay?Sure it’s okay”you say. Later on after you’ve taken three small Serengetis you tell yourself it’s time to leave for tomorrow is a working day. Besides, it’s going to 10pm and you need to get to the Lulu out-let before they close. So when Jane comes up ans asks if she should add you something you answer to the negative.
I’am about to leave now, let me have my bill, please” you say.After fine minutes or so, Jane hands you the bill. It must be a mistake, you tell youself, for the total reads sh. 12,500/=
Yeah! Something is certainly wrong, because your three Serengeti would have amounted to Sh. 4500. Add that to your “Idol’s beer (you know him as a Safari Lager man) and the billl should have come to around Shs5,800!
Hey, jane,”you bark, This can’t be my bill!”It’s you bill sir, she says Surely all these drinks? Your rant.Yes ------- you see you friend is accompained by two ladies, so besides his small Konyagi and club soda, the ladies took a Heineken each –that’s adds to Sh8,000, sir.
Om my! You tell yourself as you produce Sh25,000 and blutry: Okay take that fifteen thou and bring me my change quickly’ You are angry because you don’t know what the Luku girls is going to hink of you when a wholw mzee like you, given her sh2000 note and say “Give me Luku for Sh.1,500! Yoy’re asking, why not the whole sh2000 reader? Well, the answer is you’ll need the sh500 change for your fare to the office tomorrow.